how much will i have to pay? are tears or apologies the right currency? how many hours must be given to remorse or doubt? how many lifetimes must we live? tell me the measure of time, the measure of my debt.
surely i have done horrors before to deserve such punishment. but i do not remeber these faults. all i can recall in this ephemeral passage of millions of seconds, are particles of troubled memories. relative spaces and places that no longer generate force and drive.
if such pain is the norm, why should i bear this burden? who bestows upon me such grievance? how can i get rid of it, or to aspire a cathartic effect in redeeming myself? if that is needed at all.
so far i always felt this everpresent omen because in the end, what we are is what we have done before; and as is his will, so is his deed; and whatever deed he does, that he will reap.
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